


Until the Weekend

by waitingforwonhui



Category: Produce X 101 - Fandom, UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: All The Ships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Smut, all ships come up but it's one story, but not too much smut, i might not even include any explicit content, it does not end well for anyone, no happy ending, so you might want to read the whole thing anyway, wooseok and everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-15 18:56:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui
Summary: Wooseok lives weekend to weekend, yet there's a lot that happens in between.





	1. Yocat

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, first things first, even though the chapter titles might suggest differently, this is one ongoing fic. So, even though there are different ships in focus for each chapter, it's still one ongoing storyline. You can choose to read your favourite ship's chapter but you might lose some of the context and it doesn't end well for anyone, so you don't have to worry that he'll eventually end up with someone you don't want him with... that's all I wanted to say. 
> 
> There will be quite a bit of angst - no self-harm or anything like that just feelings being hurt, people being assholes, hearts being broken. 
> 
> This is the first chapter, next chapter is Gyulcat, so stay tuned :)

Yohan is feeling nervous as he walks up the stairs to Wooseok and Seungyoun's apartment. It's not like he hasn't been here before. It's Monday after all and on Mondays, at 4 pm Yohan gets tutored by Wooseok in _Financial Accounting_. He's been here every single Monday since his third week in university where he realised that being a business major came with a lot of modules that he didn't understand and he was grateful to find tutors in as many of them as possible.

Yohan found Wooseok's ad on their school's official tutoring portal and thought that the senior sounded incredibly knowledgable yet straightforward. He didn't use any unnecessary, over-the-top, business major jargon like some of the other students did in their ads. Yohan felt like he didn't need to get any more confused in his first semester in uni, so he opted for the ad that spoke his language the most and that led him to Kim Wooseok - a very (very) attractive business major in his 5th semester - whom Yohan meets with once a week to go over what he was supposed to have learned in class the previous week but what he never understands until Wooseok explains it to him in layman's terms.

_Financial Accounting_, however, is not the reason why Yohan is nervous on his walk to his tutor's apartment today. It's not the reason he doesn't take the elevator in order to have more time to go over what he wants to ask Wooseok at some point during their tutoring lesson.

The thing is that Kim Wooseok is very openly gay. It's something that Yohan always knew but never really had a reason to think about. Not until two days ago when he went to a Halloween party and someone dressed up as Zoro from _One Piece_ drunkenly shoved his tongue down Yohan's throat. Something Yohan never thought he would enjoy. He never found out who the boy was but he had left him high and dry questioning his sexuality ever since. If anyone can help him with his dilemma, it's Kim Wooseok, Yohan thinks.

He didn't think he would need this kind of tutoring lesson one day but there he is, almost at the doorstep to his tutor's apartment rehearsing the way he wants to tell the story and ask Wooseok to help him figure out things.

The moment the older male opens the door to his apartment and greets Yohan with a hug, he suddenly loses the courage to ask him right away. He decides to work it into a conversation later during their lesson.

As always they sit in the living room, Yohan on the couch and Wooseok on the floor in front of him, a small table with the younger male's homework laid out on top of it between them.

"Is everything okay with you today?" Wooseok suddenly asks after watching Yohan attempt to solve an exercise for what felt like an hour but was probably only around 10 minutes.

"Yes," the younger male says somewhat startled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know," the other retorts eyeing Yohan with a questioning look. "You seem a little distracted. It usually doesn't take you this long to solve these kinds of exercises or did I make it too hard?"

Wooseok leans over the sheet of paper that contains the exercises he prepared for his tutoring student and starts to read it again with furrowed eyebrows.

"No, hyung," Yohan starts with a sigh. "The exercises are fine, it's just..."

Wooseok looks up at him as he pushes the round glasses up his nose. "What is it?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something but I'm not sure if it's weird or not."

"About accounting?"

"No," Yohan laughs. "It has nothing to do with business, it's more of a-- private matter."

Wooseok's eyes narrow a little bit as he inspects Yohan's increasingly reddening face. "I see."

"I don't know if it's appropriate-"

"Ask away and if I think it's too personal, I can always choose not to answer, right?"

"Right," Yohan agrees. "Okay, so- well, you are a man, right?"

Wooseok scoffs. "I hope that's not the actual question you want to ask."

"No," the younger male says flustered. "Of course not, I mean, I know you're a man... obviously, but you're a man who is into other men, right?"

"Yes, Yohan, I'm gay as fuck," Wooseok says matter-of-factly then giggles. "That's not much of a private affair though, everyone knows."

"I know but like... how did you know?" Yohan finally blurts out.

"That I'm gay?"

"Yes, when did you realise it and what made you know for sure?"

Wooseok looks at him intently for a bit before he answers. "Are you asking me for personal reasons?"

"Perhaps," Yohan starts to shift in his seat which is seemingly enough explanation for Wooseok who relaxes and leans back on his two hands on the floor.

"I guess I kinda always knew," the older male starts while looking at nothing in particular in front of him. "At least, I've never been interested in a girl in my life and you know, I never thought much about it but then when I was 14 or 15, I realised I had a crush on my neighbour."

"You fell for the guy next door?" Yohan asks somewhat giddy. After all, he is a hopeless romantic and he just loves hearing these kinds of stories. "What a cliche!"

"It gets worse," Wooseok says squinching his eyes shut then opening them again. "He was my best friend at the time."

"Oooh," the younger male retorts in excitement. "That's so cute."

Wooseok scoffs for the second time that afternoon. "If you say so... but to answer your question that was the first time I really realised I was into a guy as more than just a friend."

"But how did you know for sure?" Yohan inquires. "I mean, you didn't just wake up one day and realise that you look at your friend differently than yesterday, right?"

"Well, no, of course not," Wooseok answers while flattening the hair on the back of his head. "I guess, I liked him for much longer than I realised but because I didn't know, I just thought the feelings I had for him were normal. But I think that's when he had his first, like, real girlfriend... when we were 15 or so - and I was so jealous. I realised I wanted him like that, not just as a friend. So, yeah, I was sure about my feelings for him then but of course, that doesn't make you gay, right? So about two years later I slept with him and then I knew for sure, I love dick."

Yohan laughs out loud. He knows Wooseok is very direct when it comes to sexual things. After all, the older male has told him many a story of his various adventures in the couple of weeks that they have been meeting for tutoring lessons. He is more shocked to find out that his tutor only lost his virginity at the age of 17 and then to someone he was actually in love with. Somehow it doesn't go with the image Yohan has of Wooseok who is quite notorious for his promiscuity.

"Who would've thought that you actually lost your virginity to the guy next door whom you happened to be in love with too?" He finally says. "If that isn't the cutest thing you've ever told me about yourself."

Wooseok shrugs. "It's not that cute, really. About a year later, we finished school and went completely different places. He doesn't even live in Seoul anymore. Anyway, after that I was very sure I was gay, so I started exploring a lot and now I'm the happy slut that you know today. Does that answer your question?"

"Well, sort of," Yohan says looking down on the pen in his hands. "I'm still not sure..."

"About what though?" Wooseok inquires while taking a sip from the coke can he had previously placed next to him on the floor.

"I might as well tell you," the younger male stars. "Well, I made out with a guy at this party last Saturday."

"Oha, Kim Yohan, and you only tell me that now? How was it?"

"Good," Yohan blurts out a little too excitedly and feels his face warm up in an instant. "I mean, it was surprisingly good. I can't stop thinking about it and now I'm not sure if it was just because this individual had a magic tongue or something or if I might be into guys and just never realised it..."

"Aha, so that's what this is really about," Wooseok smirks knowingly. "So, do you feel like doing it again?"

"You mean with this guy?"

"With any guy," Wooseok says as he throws his hands up and moves to sit on his folded legs.

"I don't know," Yohan starts shyly. "I'd definitely want to do it with that guy but I don't even know who he was and I was a little drunk, so maybe that played a role as well. Honestly, I was hoping you'd be able to tell me something that would make me figure it out right away."

Now it was Wooseok's turn to laugh out loud. "Kid, there is no magic formula that helps you figure out your sexuality. For some of us, it's very clear, others need a couple more experiences to be sure, then others again might never even accept themselves for what they are... it's a tricky thing, especially in this society. Besides, you don't have to label yourself right away just... I don't know, try out a couple of things and you'll hopefully have an answer pretty soon."

Yohan sighs. "I guess, you're right. Thanks."

Wooseok looks at him for a little while as if he is trying to read something in the younger's face. "You don't look satisfied with that answer."

The other giggles. "No, I'm fine, it's just," Yohan doesn't even want to know what colour his face is right now. "Hyung, it was so good, fuck, I'd never been that horny just from making out with someone."

Wooseok chuckles from where he is seated on the floor then moves to get up. "Well, I can help you get a step closer to figuring yourself out," he says as he stands right in front of Yohan on the couch. "If you want to, of course."

"H-how?" Yohan asks intelligently, although, he can tell by the way the other looks at him what he might have in mind.

He doesn't have to hear Wooseok's answer to his stuttered question because without saying anything, the older male moves on top of him to sit on his lap and straddle him, lanky fingers touching the back of Yohan's neck as his tutor's face moves dangerously close to his own.

"You can tell me to stop, anytime," Wooseok says in a sultry tone and there are many things going on in Yohan's head right now but asking him to stop is not one of them, so he gulps and shakily brings his hands to rest on the other's hips. "Didn't think so," Wooseok concludes with a chuckle before he leans down to press his lips on Yohan's own pair.

Yup, he likes this. Yohan definitely likes the way his tutor's lips brush against his own. The way he seems to know exactly what to do with his tongue. Even the way Wooseok's hips move on top of him, occasionally grinding down on his slowly erecting cock. Yohan couldn't deny it if he wanted to how much he gets aroused in just like two minutes of making out with Wooseok. He's almost a little embarrassed about it and it doesn't help that the older male chuckles at him when he breaks their kiss for a moment.

"I don't know if you're gay, Yohan, but it's pretty clear to me that you're not straight," he says before connecting their lips again and kissing him with more fervour.

He has his answer. Wooseok is right. He's clearly into guys in one way or another, definitely in a physical way. That's for sure, that's clear as day. He could technically stop now. His tutoring lesson has ended about 10 minutes ago anyway. Perhaps he should go home and think about his new-found identity.

Yet he finds himself grabbing onto Wooseok's ass and pulling him down onto himself in order to provide more much-needed friction on his crotch. And who wouldn't? Male or female, it's not every day that you get to make out with someone as hot as Kim Wooseok. The older male doesn't seem to have anything against it either as he moves his hips in circles to give Yohan what he's clearly asking for without a word.

For a while, their small moans and ragged breathing are the only things audible in the room until Wooseok breaks off the kiss again just to hover his mouth over Yohan's lips. "So, how far would you like to take this?" He asks as he moves back a little bit to inspect a dishevelled Yohan trying to catch his breath. "I mean, clearly you enjoy making out with a guy, we've proven that much."

"Yeah," the younger male replies breathily. "I'm not sure..."

One of Wooseok's hands moves to unbutton Yohan's pants, he makes eye contact as he pulls down the zipper making sure that the younger is still on board with every single one of his movements. "Still good?" He asks as he pushes the jeans down a little bit to reveal a tent in Yohan's underwear.

"Yeah," Yohan whispers breathily and puts his head back on the sofa before closing his eyes. "Fuck," he adds when Wooseok's hand frees his cock from his underwear and starts stroking him slowly up and down.

He doesn't know if he can open his eyes and look at the other male in this position right now but he definitely enjoys the turn today's _Financial Accounting_ tutoring lesson has taken. Just as he lets himself relax completely, the front door that leads directly into the living room opens and Wooseok's roommate Seungyoun is suddenly standing and staring at them open-mouthed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Seungyoun calls out from the entrance. "In our living room? In the middle of the day? Really?"

Yohan has seen Seungyoun pass through the room a couple of times when he was here but he has never really interacted with him past a simple greeting. He suddenly feels very ashamed of the situation he is caught in by the other inhabitant of this apartment, so he gently but firmly pushes Wooseok off of him and quickly moves to put up and zip his pants before throwing a couple of apologies in Seungyoun's direction.

"Calm down," he hears Wooseok say with a giggle. "We just made out a little, it's not like I fucked him in the living room."

"His dick was out," Seungyoun almost shouts taking his backpack off and throwing it to the floor. "What are you doing with him anyway? Shit, Wooseok, did you really get that desperate over the weekend that you have to fuck your student now?"

"It's none of your business, is it?" Wooseok suddenly answers with a much darker tone than the playfulness he was talking with before that.

"It's my sofa," Seungyoun retorts.

"Whatever," his tutor shoots back with a shrug. "You killed the moment anyway. I'll see you next week, Yohan, okay?"

Yohan is slightly perplexed now that Wooseok has turned to look at him again. "Uh, yeah, sure... same time as always?"

"Yes," Wooseok says with a small smile.

"Sorry, Seungyoun," Yohan doesn't know why he feels the need to apologise again. In one way, it was not his responsibility to think of Wooseok's roommate before making out with him. Seungyoun didn't even cross his mind when his tutor decided to move on top of him and stick his tongue in Yohan's mouth and yet, he feels like he should've been more considerate. "I promise it won't happen again-"

"Don't worry about it," Wooseok says before throwing Seungyoun a side-eye. "He's just a little jealous, Seungyoun here really needs to get laid too."

"Fuck you," the other male says before taking his backpack off the floor and quickly disappearing in his room.

"Nobody likes to hear the truth," Wooseok says with a sly smile. "Anyway, if you still want to explore your sexuality a little further, feel free to come a little earlier next week and we can take our lesson to my room."

"I-" Yohan is a little flustered, to say the least, when Wooseok walks over to him again to give him a hug goodbye and a peck on the lips.

"You don't have to," the older male says. "I just thought I'd put it out there, otherwise I'll see you at 4 pm for _Financial Accounting_," he concludes with a chuckle.

Yohan thinks that he definitely got more than he bargained for when he walks out of the building welcoming the cold air hitting his face. He just wanted to ask Wooseok about his own sexuality but ended up pretty much confirming to himself that he is, indeed, interested in men and right now, he's interested in Wooseok more than he wants to admit to himself.

If the way his tutor threw himself onto Yohan and kissed him with passion is anything to go by, he'd say that Wooseok might be interested in him a little too. After all, he didn't have to kiss him goodbye, right? He didn't have to offer him to continue where they left off next Monday. But he did. So, perhaps, Wooseok isn't the fuckboy everyone thinks he is.

He said himself that he was exploring things a little but he was certainly capable of having true feelings for someone just like he used to be in love with that guy-next-door. That story certainly made Yohan see Wooseok in a different light. It can't hurt to ask him out on a date, Yohan concludes as he walks towards the subway station. What could he possibly lose?


	2. Gyulcat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Gyulcat time, bitches!
> 
> again, it might include some sexy time but nothing explicit so it's safe to read, I think ö.ö
> 
> I don't even know if anyone is reading this but if you are, let me know how you like it TT

There are many things Hangyul loves about Wooseok. Like, right now, in this very moment he could list at least ten things as he has the older male on his back, legs folded up slightly apart, hair dishevelled by means of his own hands grabbing onto it in order to stop himself from entirely succumbing to the pleasure provided by Hangyul hovering above him.

He loves the soft, little moans that escape Wooseok's mouth every time he moves out and back inside of him again. He loves how smooth his skin feels underneath the touch of Hangyul's large hands. He loves his pale chest and his slim legs and how they are shaking in Hangyul's grip on the insides of Wooseok's knees. He loves the slightly parted pink lips and the half-lidded eyes looking up to him in complete arousal. He loves the warm blush on Wooseok's cheeks and the fact that it wasn't there before he made it appear.

Most of all, however, he loves the rare times Wooseok lets him just lie next to him when they're both finished and coming down from their highs after sex. When Wooseok lets him stay in his bed a little longer; sometimes making out, sometimes just talking.

Today is one of those days and Hangyul has a hard time hiding his giddiness. They have been occasionally sleeping with each other for a couple of months now but today Wooseok seemed extra needy. He practically ordered Hangyul to come to his place, even though they usually don't meet on Wednesdays. Wooseok knows that the younger male has soccer practice on Wednesday evenings and he wouldn't normally send his cat emoji followed by a question mark - which has become their insider joke for a booty call - which is why Hangyul thinks he has reason to wonder whether their relationship has reached a new level or not.

He didn't have any such hopes at the beginning of all of this. He met Wooseok at a typical college party very early in the semester and the older male was very clear about not looking for anything serious at the time. Wooseok merely wanted to have a friends with benefits kind of thing which was exactly what Hangyul thought he also wanted back then.

Wooseok was very cold and distant in the beginning. He always got up or moved to check his phone immediately after they would've slept with each other. There was no way that they would've lied around like this now Hangyul playing with Wooseok's hair while the older male draws invisible circles onto the other's chest. He didn't mind the whole fuckbuddies thing but as time passed and Wooseok warmed up to him a little more, Hangyul started to wonder whether it was possible that they were moving into something else. Something more serious, more intimate. The fact that he didn't think twice before deciding to skip soccer practice in order to see what Wooseok needed tonight proves that at least he cares about the other way more than he did in the beginning; and it's times like these that he thinks that it's okay to get his hopes up at least a little bit, even though he has been told not to.

Hangyul leans over Wooseok to take the wet towel he previously prepared to clean him up and starts slowly wiping the older's stomach.

"Thanks," Wooseok says with a smile intently watching him. "Hangyul, I must say, you're getting better every time."

The younger male scoffs. "Please, I was always good."

"I had to teach you a thing or two but yes, you came with talent," the other says with a mocking tone. "A raw diamond sharpened and polished by my knowing hand... or well, butt."

Hangyul breaks out in laughter and rolls onto his back slowly folding the dirty towel and putting it away again while Wooseok grabs his phone after noticing that it was blinking for quite a while.

He knows it's rude and that he shouldn't but Hangyul can't help but glance at the screen of the older male's phone when Wooseok unlocks it. There are a couple of messages from Seungyoun whom Hangyul knows as Wooseok's roommate but has never really interacted with apart from that one time when he was leaving their apartment in the middle of the night and Seunyoun was still sitting on the sofa in the living room playing video games. Hangyul felt a little embarrassed at the stranger knowing exactly why he was there sneaking out of their flat, so he just greeted the other and disappeared as fast as he could.

Wooseok swipes Seungyoun's messages away without reading them and other messages appear; a couple of them from someone called Yohan then another one from a Jinhyuk. Hangyul thinks he has heard both of those names before but he cannot really sort out in what relationship they stand to Wooseok.

He knows it's none of his business but nonetheless, he hears himself ask. "Friends of yours?"

Wooseok chuckles. "Something like that."

He continues to type on his phone and Hangyul has to pull himself together quite a bit not to read what the other is sending to the guy named Yohan.

"I tutor this kid, Yohan," Wooseok finally says. "I think he might have developed a little bit of a crush on me, though. He just asked me to grab coffee with him sometime."

"Just out of the blue?" Hangyul asks trying to sound as passive as possible.

"Yeah," the older male giggles.

"Why would he suddenly think you might want to go out with him?" He is not quite sure what he's trying to figure out here but Hangyul realises that he doesn't know much about Wooseok and his everyday life. They would usually meet at the older's apartment and have sex. Very rarely, Wooseok would let Hangyul stay longer or have dinner or play video games before they end up in bed.

"Beats me," Wooseok says with a sly smile and Hangyul can't help but wonder if it means anything. "I guess I'm just too handsome."

"Yeah, right," the younger male retorts. "So, are you going out with him?"

"Nah," Wooseok says with a shrug. "I need the money from tutoring and that would just make things very awkward. Besides, this kid is soft, he's not like you."

"What do you mean?"

Wooseok's free hand that is not holding his phone strokes over Hangyul's biceps to squeeze it. "See, Yohan here is a bit of a romantic," he says while scrunching his nose. "He wouldn't get me."

Hangyul tries really hard not to let the disappointment show through. It's not like he has really high expectations or anything like that but it seems whenever he thinks that things might be moving into a certain direction, Wooseok just stops him in his tracks. The annoying thing is that he knows he can trust his gut that tells him to go for it but he doesn't really know how to approach Wooseok about it. It's as if the older male has a tight grip around Hangyul's personal desires while Hangyul puts the other's needs before his own most of the time. It's a little frustrating but he feels a little relieved to hear that, for what it's worth, Wooseok doesn't seem to be into dating anyone else at the moment either. He might just give it some more time.

Wooseok looks at him with a smile before he brings their lips together for a kiss that he quickly deepens before climbing on top of Hangyul to straddle him as he lies on his back. Just as things start to get heated again, Wooseok's phone, that he left on the bed, vibrates three times in a row and Hangyul takes it in his hand to give it back to his owner.

"So, is Jinhyuk also one of your tutoring kids?" He asks when he sees the name as the phone lights up.

Wooseok laughs as he sits up on top of him, phone in his hand. "Oh my god, no," he quickly types something on the device. "He's a friend." The older male says with a small smile before putting his phone away and on silent mode. "Just like you."

Hangyul can't help but scoff. "Well, probably not _exactly_ like me."

Wooseok on top of him looks a little confused by the way he scratches the back of his head. "I mean, I've known him for longer... nobody is _exactly_ the same-"

"I just mean," Hangyul interrupts him a little amused at the fact that Wooseok doesn't seem to get what he is trying to say. "You're kinda sitting here on top of me... naked... so when you introduce someone as your _friend_, I assume you don't really mean _'just like me'_, you know."

Wooseok giggles a little. "I get it but in this case, I _do_ mean_ just like you._"

"Oh," Hangyul says and this time he knows that his disappointment is showing. He knows that Wooseok is picking up on it too because the older male moves away a little more, intently looking at Hangyul probing his facial expressions.

"It's not a big deal, though," he says eventually. "We're keeping it casual, remember?"

"I do," Hangyul says slowly, carefully choosing his next words. "I just didn't think that you have more, umm, _friends like me_."

"It's just the two of you, really," Wooseok retorts casually but he seems to notice the mood shift in Hangyul so he gets off of him and sits beside him on the bed. "You're okay with that, right? I mean, it's not like we're exclusive or anything so it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Well, are you... "exclusive" with him?"

"No," Wooseok throws back quickly and a little louder than he was talking just before. Hangyul knows what he sounds like and by the way the older male is furrowing his eyebrows, he knows he's crossed a line and stepped out of the friends with benefits agreement if there ever was one. "It's literally the same thing with him."

"Does he know about me?" Hangyul thinks that he should perhaps stop asking questions but he doesn't really know how to feel about this new information that he has acquired. Of course, he knew about Wooseok's intentions from the beginning and he didn't really have a problem with keeping things casual but the fact that there was someone else who was on the same level as him in Wooseok's life rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. Perhaps he has allowed himself to get much deeper into this than he should have but what is he to do about it now?

"In fact, he does," Wooseok says matter-of-factly.

"And he's fine with it?"

"Yeah," the older male retorts the displeasure in his face growing. "You might have actually seen him at the party where we met. The tall guy I was with?"

Hangyul is a little shocked to find out that Wooseok was with his other fuckbuddy at that party. He might have been a little drunk but as far as he remembers, the older male seemed quite desperate to get laid that night and Hangyul who had just come out of a semi-serious relationship felt more than happy to provide. Even more so because Wooseok had been - by far - the best-looking person at that party.

"All I remember from that party is you being all over my junk in the bathroom," he replies. "No other friend with benefits in sight."

"Well, you know how horny I get when I drink," Wooseok retorts with a shrug.

"So, basically, you're saying we are the result of you getting drunk and not being able to find your fuckboy at a party or what?"

Wooseok gets up from the bed and Hangyul knows that it's over for tonight. He has completely overstepped. "He was busy playing some lame board game or something but what's the matter with you? Why are you so dramatic all of a sudden?"

Hangyul sits up to lean on the headboard. "I'm not being dramatic... I'm just curious."

"You know how I feel about drama, Hangyul," Wooseok is now putting his clothes back on. "We talked about this in the beginning. It's not like I made you promises I didn't keep."

"I know."

"Well, if you know it, why are you acting like some butthurt little bitch then?"

"Okay, wow, where did that come from now?"

"I don't know. Where did all this sentimental shit come from?" Wooseok says now fully dressed his arms propped up in his sides. "It's exactly why I don't do relationships. If I wanted to deal with someone else's feelings, I would have a boyfriend but I don't care about that. I just want to get laid once in a while and I think I made myself very clear when I had you come over here the first time."

"You know, Wooseok, it's not like people plan to develop feelings," Hangyul says while also moving to get up and put his own clothes on. "Some of us just have them whether we want them or not."

"Well, that's not my responsibility," the older male concludes. "Honestly, I think you should go now."

"Yeah, I think so too," Hangyul says but doesn't move right away. They look at each other for a little while before the younger turns around and leaves the room.

* * *

When he gets home to the apartment he shares with Seungwoo, he knows he has messed up in more than one way tonight.

"Where have you been?" Seungwoo asks from the kitchen when Hangyul tries to steal his way into his own room.

He knows he doesn't really have to answer. It's not like Seungwoo is asking because he doesn't know the answer already. "It's none of your business."

"So, now you're missing soccer practice for him?" It doesn't help that Seungwoo is not only his roommate but also captain of the soccer team and like with everything he does, he takes his role very seriously.

"What part of "it's none of your business" do you not understand?"

Seungwoo suddenly gets all serious. "Hey, I might be a very nice hyung to you but I'm still older and you don't get to talk to me like that, understood?"

Hangyul doesn't answer. He can't even look at Seungwoo right now.

"Besides," the older male continues. "You know we have a really important match coming up this Friday, I thought you'd care enough to practice for it at least."

He knows that Seungwoo is right. He hates that he has allowed Wooseok to get under his skin like this, especially now that he knows he's been completely delusional about the other perhaps having feelings for him too.

"I'm sorry, hyung," he says defeated.

"Is everything okay?" Seungwoo suddenly asks with concern in his voice. He has always had a way of knowing how Hangyul felt without him having to say anything. The younger male is not surprised that even now when he was rude to his team captain, Seungwoo has enough empathy to realise that there's something not quite alright with him and that he cares.

"I don't really want to talk about it. If that's okay," Hangyul says not because he wants to hide anything from the older male but because he's not quite sure what is going on anyway. He wants to believe that he can still salvage what he had with Wooseok. After all, nothing between them has to change. He can just accept that things are the way they are and live with the fact that Wooseok doesn't have feelings for him. He already knew that. All he has to give up are his hopes and he didn't really have that many of them to begin with, right?

"Of course," Seungwoo says in a soft tone. "I'm making dinner, it will be ready in about 30 minutes. Do you want some too?"

"Yeah," Hangyul manages to give him a smile. "That would be great, thank you. I'll go wash up."

"Okay," the older male says and gives Hangyul's shoulder a little squeeze. "I'll see you in a bit."

While the hot water hits the back of his neck, Hangyul thinks about what words he will choose to tell Wooseok that he is sorry for how he reacted and that everything can stay the same. That he was just surprised and that he doesn't mind Wooseok sleeping with other of his_ friends_ even if that's not true. He will be fine with it one day. And who knows? Things might even really change between them one day.


	3. Seungseok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I'd write Seungseok but then again when you read this...
> 
> thanks for the kudos and the comments guys :((( it means a lot!! <3

The first thing Wooseok does when he comes home and sees him drinking wine and eating popcorn on the sofa in the living room is to laugh out loud.

"You're drinking on a Thursday?" He throws in Seungyoun's direction before taking off his shoes and making his way to sit beside him.

"I'm watching _Scandal_," Seungyoun states as if no further explanation is needed. "Besides, I really fucked up an exam today and I'm trying to forget all about it."

Wooseok chuckles. "That bad?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So,_ that_ bad, I see."

"Yep."

"Can I have some wine too?" Wooseok asks stretching his arm out, hand open.

"Wait, I'll get you a glass," Seungyoun says about to get up from the sofa.

Wooseok pulls him back. "It's fine, I'll take the bottle."

The other looks at him with widened eyes. "Bad day too?"

"More like a bad week," the slightly younger male says as he sinks deeper into the sofa and takes a big sip from the bottle of red wine.

"Yeah," Seungyoun starts not really sure if he is allowed to ask or not. "I saw Hangyul storm out of your room last night. Is everything alright there?"

Wooseok scoffs next to him. "Maybe that's over, maybe not. I don't know."

He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or the fact that Wooseok actually looks a little bothered but he breaks his rule of never asking the other about his little fuckboys. "What happened?"

Wooseok looks at him a little surprised then sighs. "I think Hangyul is catching feelings."

Seungyoun scoffs. "And you really can't deal with that, huh?"

"It's not what we agreed on," his roommate looks at him almost insulted at the remark.

"Can you blame him?" Seungyoun says while taking a sip from his own glass. "Something like that was bound to happen, no?"

"I'm not blaming him. It's just not something I want right now," Wooseok says his gaze fixed on the bottle between his hands. "Why do they always have to complicate things?"

Seungyoun wants to hide his scoff but he lets it out anyway. "I'm sorry but what do you expect? Not everyone is cold like Jinhyuk..."

He thinks that he has overstepped a little bit. After all, Seungyoun doesn't really entirely understand the type of relationship - or well, non-relationship - that Wooseok and Jinhyuk have. He just knows that it has been going on for a while now and in all the years that Seungyoun has lived with Wooseok in this apartment, he had seen many boys come and go but Jinhyuk was the only one who wasn't tossed out and replaced by Wooseok the moment he "caught feelings".

Seungyoun has no doubt that Jinhyuk is probably also in love with Wooseok. He can't imagine anyone sleeping with someone else for that long and not starting to feel any kind of affection towards them. Then again, they were friends long before Seunyoun even met Wooseok so perhaps the stage of Jinhyuk falling for him had happened already. Perhaps they have overcome that and that's why it works now.

He doesn't really want to think about it. He has long stopped trying to figure out why Wooseok is the way he is and why he only chose to be with guys who were clearly not the right fit for him. Not that Seungyoun would know what the right fit for his roommate would be anyway.

"You don't even know him," Wooseok retorts with a frown.

"I see him often enough," Seungyoun simply states. The image of Jinhyuk's grinning, cheerful face forming in front of his eyes. He shakes his head.

"You see him," his roommate says in a low tone. "But you never talk to him. I really don't know why you hate him so much."

"I don't hate him," the older male lies. Technically, he really doesn't hate Jinhyuk. Not because he has a reason too. Jinhyuk has just become the walking token of everything he dislikes about Wooseok. Jinhyuk is there to remind him that Wooseok is unattainable. He knows he's just as unattainable for Jinhyuk as he is for Seungyoun himself but the fact that Jinhyuk gets to sleep with him and get away with it week after week bothers him. The fact that Jinhyuk doesn't mind to get hurt like that over and over again bothers him. The fact that there's someone out there who probably loves Wooseok even more than he does. It bothers him.

He suddenly remembers Hangyul again. Hangyul who apparently "caught feelings". He feels sorry for the guy because he doesn't even know half of it. Yes, the kid might have slept with Wooseok as well. He might have repeatedly been invited to their apartment and his roommate's bed but Seungyoun could only pity him. He knew exactly how it would end. He was not surprised to hear the words Wooseok uttered just a couple of minutes ago.

Of course, Hangyul would fall for Wooseok. Who wouldn't? But what was Hangyul even in love with? He barely ever spent any time with Wooseok outside of the older male's bed. Was it his body? The way he kissed? The way he fucked? The way he tasted? His voice? His eyes? His lips? To Seungyoun, Wooseok was so much more than that.

Yes, Wooseok sleeps around and doesn't seem to be able to hold onto any kind of intimate human connection but he is his friend. His best friend. He was there when nobody else was there for Seungyoun. He let him sleep on the very sofa they are now seated on when Seungyoun didn't have a place to go after he was kicked out of the university dorms for "misconduct" - which was basically him being gay. He let him move in when his last roommate graduated and moved out. Seungyoun knows that he's paying much less rent than Wooseok for this apartment but the younger male has never mentioned it. He has never even let him feel it.

He has loved Wooseok as more than just a friend for a long time now. He has watched all those boys come and go in and out of their apartment for three years. All of them thinking they were in love with Wooseok. None of them even knowing him.

And perhaps, that's exactly where his problem with Jinhyuk starts. He knows that Jinhyuk loves him for who he really is. He knows that Jinyhuk knows Wooseok better than any of those guys. He wonders if he knows him even better than Seungyoun himself. But Jinhyuk is on a whole different side of the spectrum than him. If Wooseok ever decides that he wants something more than just casual sex partners, Seungyoun knows he'd probably go with Jinhyuk because he already knows him like that.

He doesn't really know how much of what he thinks is even rational. After all, he has long ago decided he would not talk to Wooseok about these kinds of things. He doesn't want to know about the Hangyuls and the Yohans that come here and get taken advantage of by a hyung who is quite impossible to resist. Even less than that does he want to know what goes on behind closed doors when Jinyhuk comes over. No, Seungyoun doesn't hate him but he can't afford to get close to the main lover of the guy he's in love with. He can't afford to befriend Jinhyuk or any of the other boys. He can't afford to like them and most of all he can't afford to have them figure out that he's just as head over heels for Wooseok as they are. He knows they will know. Just the way he always knows they have fallen for his roommate just days or weeks before they get tossed for someone else.

"Well, he thinks you hate him," Wooseok says and Seungyoun is suddenly snapped back into their conversation. "At least you never really talk to him."

"What would I talk to him about?" Seungyoun throws in almost as if to defend himself. "_Hey, Jinhyuk, you're back here to fuck my roommate again? Great, have fun!_ He doesn't come here to become my friend, Wooseok."

"Oh wow, okay then," the other male says while taking another sip from the bottle of red wine. Wooseok shakes his head in annoyance.

"I don't see in what way befriending your fuckboys would benefit me," Seungyoun explains. "I mean, just imagine if I had become friends with Hangyul, how awkward would that be for you now?"

"I get your point, okay," Wooseok says but he gives him a look that the other cannot quite place. It's something between questioning and worried. "Anyway, I don't know if the Hangyul thing is _over_ over..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he texted me today that he was sorry and all that," Wooseok shrugs. "If he's ready to keep it casual between us despite his feelings, it should be fine. If he can deal with me occasionally sleeping with other people, I don't see why it should be a problem that he might like me a little bit."

Seungyoun looks at his friend with a perplexed expression.

"What?"

"Either Hangyul is really good in bed or you're getting soft," he eventually elaborates.

"Maybe I'm just out of options?"

"You?" Seungyoun scoffs again. "I don't think so."

"It's not like there's a line of boys queueing in front of our apartment just waiting for me to lead them into my bedroom," Wooseok says with a giggle.

"If they knew where you lived, there probably would be," the older male says before taking another sip from his glass.

"Shut up."

They both start to laugh and make a toast. Wooseok's bottle hitting slightly rougher against Seungyoun's glass before they both drink again.

He puts his glass on the table and leans back into the sofa then turns his head to his side just to find Wooseok looking at him with a smile. "Thanks for cheering me up," the smaller male says.

"Thank for helping me forget about my horrible exam with your hoe diaries," Seungyoun jokes.

It makes the other laugh and Seungyoun is almost alarmed at how satisfying he finds it. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or if it's just the situation they are in but he catches himself reaching out with a hand and placing it on Wooseok's cheek.

He strokes the other's cheekbone with his thumb and feels confident in the way Wooseok leans into the touch. It's moments like these that Seungyoun lets his imagination wander. That he imagines that perhaps the fact that Wooseok has never slept with him - even though he has drunkenly thrown himself at the other a couple of times - means something. It's moments like these that he gathers enough courage to lean in and bring his own face closer to Wooseok's.

Seungyoun knows he's not going to be pushed away. He wonders if he's ever going to be let in, though. Maybe it's the glass of wine and the bottle that he finished before Wooseok even came home that makes him close the distance between them and press his lips against the pair that he's been longing for day and night.

It's heaven. The way Wooseok feels and smells up close. It's everything he wants to feel right now. It's everything he wanted to do and feel since he met the younger male at the beginning of their studies. He probes his way a little further, their lips brushing against each other. Wooseok feels so soft in his touch, almost like he would break or melt away if he just let go fo him for a second. So, he holds onto him even tighter. Seungyoun's heartrate suddenly speeds up when the other's small hand comes up to rest on his neck.

Wooseok is not only letting himself be kissed but he's kissing back. This is not the first time for them to kiss, of course. But it's the first time outside of a college party setting or a stupid drunken game of sorts. It's the first time for them to kiss all alone in their apartment. On a random Thursday evening. It's all the encouragement Seungyoun needs to lean even more into Wooseok. To grab him by the waist and pull him closer against himself. The smaller male doesn't protest, not even when Seungyoun's tongue pokes past his lips and into his mouth.

He doesn't know how many times tonight he has wondered whether it's the alcohol or something else but Seungyoun feels dizzy, light-headed and he's pretty sure it comes from the way Wooseok feels in his grip. The way he tastes. The way their tongues intertwine and play as if made to just do that and nothing else.

Then, suddenly, there's a small hand and a bottle pushing against his shoulders. "Wait," Wooseok protests determined, although weakly. "Seungyoun, we can't."

"Why?" The other male asks much firmer than he intends. He doesn't want to sound angry or like Wooseok owes him anything because he doesn't. He's well aware of that. "Why can't I be an option?"

"You don't know what you're talking," his roommate says as he puts the bottle of red wine on the table and slightly moves away from him on the couch.

"You think you know everything, huh?" Seungyoun says challenging. He doesn't want to fight with Wooseok right now. All he wants is the other's lips back on his but he doesn't think it's what he will get any time soon. He's frustrated. Not because he thinks that Wooseok should be with him or want him but because he knows he could give him whatever he wants. Right at this moment, he is ready to be whatever the smaller male wants him to be. Friend, lover, fuckboy, one-night-stand, _anything._ He's not so drunk to not know what he's doing. It's the same what he always wants, it's just that now he has the courage to ask for it.

"You're my best friend," Wooseok says with a serious look on his face. "Even I have some boundaries."

"Wasn't Jinhyuk your best friend too?" He hates himself for bringing him up again. Why does he feel like he has to compete with Wooseok's number one lover anyway?

"It's different," the younger male says and Seungyoun feels displeasure in the way he speaks after that. "Different person, different circumstances. You've had a couple of drinks - if you're horny, you should get it somewhere else."

"But you seem to deliver so willingly to everyone else," Seungyoun says and regrets it immediately.

"I'm not a whore, Seungyoun," Wooseok exclaims while getting up from the sofa just to stand in front of the TV. "It's not like I just sleep with anything that moves."

Seungyoun looks at him slightly hurt and thoroughly defeated. It's one thing for Wooseok not to want him. He's kind of grown used to that but it's another thing when the person you're in love with makes you feel like you're worthless to them.

"I'm sorry," Wooseok says his eyes shifting slightly. "I didn't mean to word it like that, you're not-"

"No, I'm sorry," Seungyoun interrupts. "I shouldn't have pressured you like this. I don't know what got over me."

"You're drunk," the smaller male says with a chuckle. "The _wine_ is what got over you."

"Yeah," Seungyoun's voice is barely above a whisper. "The wine."

"Maybe you should go to sleep," Wooseok says softly eyes piercing Seungyoun's own in a way he hasn't seen it before. It's a stern look but filled with something resembling worry but not quite. It feels much deeper like an understanding too fragile to address. Like Wooseok wants to say something that he can't. Like he's holding back but on what, Seungyoun wonders.

He has questions. Questions regarding what just happened; questions regarding what Wooseok wants from him, what he could ever want with him; questions about Hangyul and Jinyhuk and this Yohan kid; questions about Wooseok himself and what the gaze he's giving him means. Questions on top of questions not quite able to satisfy the amount of curiosity. Not quite able to answer everything to his satisfaction.

"Maybe I should," the taller male says just to break the growing silence after a couple of moments of contemplating. He doesn't want to go to sleep and he knows he won't but perhaps it's best not to be near Wooseok for the time being.

He walks back into his room after they say their awkward good-nights and before he can even process what happens, Seungyoun finds himself leaning against the door of his room, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor while his face heats up and gets covered by a wetness he doesn't see coming.

It's not the first time he cries because of Wooseok. It's not the first time he cries after kissing Wooseok either. But for some reason that he can't quite place, he feels that this time it's different. It feels different. What just happened felt different than whenever they made out in the past and he can't help but worry about whether that's good or bad. Not that he would even be in a position to be able to sort good things from bad things when it comes to Wooseok.


	4. Seuncat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this whole chapter in less than two hours and weirdly, I like it a lot.
> 
> thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments so far!  
make sure to let me know what you think of this as well <33

Seungwoo looks up from the table that he has been bent over for a while now when the door to the gym creaks open. He doesn't see who has entered until a small frame of a person steps into the lit area where Seungwoo has propped up a table in a corner to go over some pointers and strategies for tonight's soccer match.

He is not too pleased to see the person who enters the room. It's Wooseok and he looks a little lost, a little too confused for someone who is walking straight towards him now.

"What are you doing here?" He throws Wooseok's way before the other has even the chance to walk halfway towards where Seungwoo has been propped up against the table now eyeing him with great intent.

"I'm looking for Hangyul," Wooseok simply states. "I thought you guys have soccer practice on Fridays? Which would usually end like... now?"

Seungwoo can't help but frown at the other's detailed knowledge on their practice times. He can't help but feel a certain displeasure grow inside him at the thought of Hangyul being involved with a person like Wooseok to the extent where the older male knows exactly when he would be available and when not.

"Normally, yes," he answers plainly. "But we have a match tonight, so the team isn't here. They're getting ready for it outside on the field."

"What about you? Are you not their captain anymore?" Wooseok inquires.

"I'm injured," the older male says with a finger pointing at his knee. He still can't believe that he was dumb enough to get injured so close to the end of the season. They were doing so well and could've most certainly brought the championship trophy to their university for the first time in more than 5 years. They still can but Seungwoo is more than bummed that he will not be that big of a part of it. He hates the fact that he can't stand out on the field with his team and give it his best shot. "I can't play... I'm just going over some strategies we could potentially use later," he points at the papers on the table behind him.

"I see," Wooseok says and brings his arms behind him slightly swinging from side to side like a little child that has been sent to ask a grown-up a question but is too shy to say anything.

"What do you even want with Hangyul?" Seungwoo throws in in order not to have to look at Wooseok like that much longer. "Didn't you already recycle him?"

"Oh wow," the smaller male says with a surprised expression. "Brusque. I thought you guys are friends? Way to talk about him."

Seungwoo hates that he gets irritated already. He hates that he has to remind Wooseok of past times. He hates that he has to remember them himself. "It's not _my_ choice of words. It's _yours_, remember?"

"I do remember but you know I didn't mean it," Wooseok says as nonchalantly as someone who was just passing by saying good day.

"I _don't_ know," the older male deadpans.

"Does he know?"

"Who?"

Wooseok chuckles. "Hangyul, of course."

"Know what?" Seungwoo is not quite sure what the other one is trying to get at. Did he just miss an important piece of information while he was lost in his own train of thought?

"About us, of course," the smaller male says with a smirk. He looks too amused for the other's liking. "Or did you just conveniently leave that out when you lectured him about what a bad boy I am?"

Seungwoo hates the fact that Wooseok is hitting the nail on the head. Even more than that he hates the fact that the other knows exactly what he's doing. As if he wasn't feeling bad enough about keeping this from Hangyul in the first place. "There was no point in telling him," he already knows he is just scattering for excuses. "By the time I found out that it was you whom he met at the party, you guys had already met a couple of times. It would've just made things awkward between us if I had told him. Besides, you and I-- it doesn't really matter to me anymore, so yeah-- there really was no point."

The whole time that Seungwoo is talking, Wooseok fixates him with a small but insolent smile on his lips. "How funny is it, though? That out of all the people in this huge ass school, I end up with your new roommate."

Seungwo scoffs. "Please, don't kid yourself."

The smaller male gives him a look of curiosity as if he doesn't know what the other is trying to say.

"You won't end up with anyone," Seungwoo adds. "With you, everyone is just passing through."

If he didn't know any better, he'd think that Wooseok looks hurt. "You never know, Seungwoo. Maybe Hangyul is the one. After all, I'm here looking for him... even after he confessed to me."

"He confessed to you?" Seungwoo lets out sounding much more perplexed than he would've wanted.

Wooseok smirks again well-aware of the fact that he hit another nerve right there. "Something like that," he says cunningly. "At least I got the point, he likes me and who knows? Perhaps I might warm up to the idea and like him too."

"Stop playing around, Wooseok," the older says harshly. "If he likes you, you should let him go. It's not fair."

"I'm not on your stupid soccer team, Seungwoo, what do I care about fairness? Besides, I'm not the one who lies to him."

"I didn't lie to him," Seungwoo defends.

"No, you just omitted some important information that he'd probably be very interested in knowing," Wooseok says in a mocking tone.

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Like the fact that you, too, have once been happily drilling the guy he now claims to have a crush on? That you perhaps never got over the fact that I didn't like you back when I kindly-- no, let's put that in your words when I _"fairly"_ asked you to go?" He eyes the older male with intent. "That you're still looking at me like that?"

"What- _how_ am I looking at you, please?"

"Like you still want me," Wooseok deadpans.

"Now don't flatter yourself," Seungwoo says with a stern voice. "I don't want you. You're not good for me and you sure as hell are not good for Hangyul. Fuck, you're not good for anyone."

Wooseok's eyes widen at his last remark. He looks at the taller male for a moment but doesn't say anything. Instead, he turns on his heel and walks away a couple of steps before Seungwoo starts to feel bad about what he said. "Look, I'm sorry."

The smaller stops in his tracks and turns around a little now standing sideways. "No, you're right."

"I didn't mean it," Seungwoo says with an exhausted sigh.

"You did," Wooseok nods and slowly starts walking back towards him again. "It's fine. It's not like you don't have a point."

Something in his face changes as he approaches Seungwoo this time. He looks softer, gentle, almost like a little puppy on his way to ask for a treat. "I think I never said sorry for how I treated you back then. I'm an asshole now but fuck, I was so much worse when we were a thing," Wooseok concludes and stops right in front of Seungwoo. "I get why you think the way you do about me."

"Wooseok, really, forget about it," Seungwoo tries to brush it off. It's not the time and place to reconcile, he thinks. A part of him doesn't really want to hear Wooseok's apologies either. Sometimes you just want to hold onto a grudge even when you don't perfectly remember what it was all about. His dislike for the boy standing right in front of him has probably grown out of proportion with the years that have passed. Especially, since he got involved with Hangyul whom Seungwoo had started to see in a different light about the same time that the younger met Wooseok. It has all become a huge mess but Wooseok is still Wooseok. He seems more mature standing right in front of him like this.

"No, really, I want to apologise," Wooseok continues eyes fixed on the other's pair. "Also about everything that I just said earlier. Actually, I came here to tell Hangyul that we can't see each other anymore because, as you said, it wouldn't be fair. I wanted to do it in person, I think I owe him that much. I just said all of that because it's you. I guess I can't take the truth coming from you."

Wooseok comes dangerously close to him and Seungwoo has to realise that he was right. He still looked at Wooseok with a certain amount of desire in his heart. He is breathtakingly beautiful up close. Especially now, looking so sad and hurt and small, much smaller even than usual.

"I know I made a mistake letting you go," Wooseok adds. "If I look back at the parade of boys I let in and out, you're the one I think maybe I should've tried harder to keep."

"Don't mess with me, Wooseok," Seungwoo says with a shake of his head now that the younger male is just a step away from him.

"I'm not messing around," Wooseok says looking taken aback. He sounds sincere. "I know it's over between us. I don't expect you to come back or anything. Way too much has happened for that now. I guess I just miss you sometimes. That's all."

They are only centimetres apart now. Wooseok's eyes look hopeful, innocent. Seungwoo can't help but look down at his mouth. It makes him remember all the good times they had because there were a lot of good times. They were not just sleeping around. They went on dates and met each other's friends and sometimes spent the night without it even leading to sex. It was a relationship even though Wooseok would've never admitted it at the time. He was so pressed that he didn't love Seungwoo that he pushed him away as soon as the other one asked for more commitment. Could it be that Wooseok has really changed? Could it be that he's just not finding the right person for himself?

He doesn't have much time to think about it because Wooseok just asks: "Do you miss me at all?" He then leans up and kisses Seungwoo right on the lips.

It feels all too familiar. All too nostalgic. Seungwoo feels like himself from two years ago again. Before things got all complicated and serious. Before he really had to grow up for good. Kissing Wooseok is easy, it's mind-numbingly good and he forgets everything around himself at that moment. His surroundings mould together with the little moans escaping Wooseok's mouth. The smaller brings both of his hands to the back of Seungwoo's neck holding onto him for dear life. He can tell that Wooseok really meant what he said by the way he languidly kisses him. He can't help but bring his arms onto his smaller back and press the younger male against himself a little more.

Seungwoo leans back on the table behind him so that they are the same height now and Wooseok moves to stand between his legs, their mouths still attached to each other. They naturally deepen the kiss. Their bodies still used to each other, like riding a bike.

Wooseok's hands let go of his neck in order to stroke down his upper body and stop on his hips. He breaks the kiss and leans the top of his head on Seungwoo's chest. "Fuck, I missed this so much."

Seungwoo takes his face between both of his hands to lift it up and look at him again. "I'm sorry for what I said."

"Don't even mention it," Wooseok says slightly out of breath then attaches his lips to the other's neck. He plasters small kisses on Seungwoo's skin before he moves lover to nibble on the slightly exposed collar bones. "I already forgot all about it," he says with a small chuckle then moves to unbutton the taller male's loose shirt.

"Wooseok, wait," Seungwoo takes his busy hands into his own. "What are you doing?"

The smaller male stops and looks up at him bringing a little bit of distance between them. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I think I'm getting ahead of myself. It just feels too familiar."

"It does," Seungwoo agrees and brings one of his hands up to stroke the side of Wooseok's face. The younger male looks at him with his lips slightly parted, his eyes seemingly clouded.

"I just kinda really want you right now," he says in a sultry tone and Seungwoo can feel his blood rushing to all the wrong places. Wooseok is quite irresistible. He can't really pinpoint what it is exactly but he already wants to take him somewhere after the match.

"Do you want to meet up later?" He asks and he can see a little bit of disappointment forming on the other's visage.

"I do," Wooseok says then bites his lower lip. "But your body is telling me that you want me right now."

Before Seungwoo can even say anything the smaller drops to his knees right in front of him and starts to make quick work on his pants. He is not completely wrong with what he's saying when Seungwoo looks down just to see his own underwear almost embarrassingly dented.

"Fuck," he breathes while bringing his hand to stroke through Wooseok's hair. "You sure as hell still got that side to you. But Wooseok, not here-"

"Let me just... taste you, I'll be quick," the younger says as he pulls Seungwoo's pants down with his underwear just above the knees. "And we'll meet later for the real deal, okay?"

Seungwoo wants to protest. He really doesn't want to get caught with Wooseok's mouth around his cock in the gym where the soccer team practices twice a week. However, he loses all determination when he looks down and sees himself disappear between those sinful lips. Big doe eyes looking up at him way too beautiful to be real but they are.

He finishes very quickly. After all, it's been a while for him but also, Wooseok is really the best at this. Seungwoo helps him up on his feet and quickly puts his underwear and pants back on grateful that nobody walked in on them. Admittedly, it was reckless and he makes a mental note to be more careful with these things and not follow every single one of Wooseok's whims if they are to reconcile again.

He wants to pull him in and kiss him again but Wooseok steps away and gives him a curious look. Seungwoo knows that something is not quite right. Suddenly, he feels like he just made a huge mistake.

"That was much easier than I thought," Wooseok says wiping the sides of his mouth with a somewhat mischevious smile.

"You fucking sociopath," Seungwoo almost shouts as it dawns on him what just happened. What he allowed to happen.

"Now watch your mouth," the smaller says angrily pointing a finger at him. "Before you call me names just, please, take a moment to reevaluate your own actions, you fucking hypocrite. I didn't force you to do anything, I just merely showed you what your actual problem with me is. You say you care about Hangyul? Then, please, go home tonight and face him and tell him what you did today. While you're at it, why don't you tell him all about our past together as well? I might be selfish and direct sometimes but at least I'm not a liar. At least I don't pretend to be something I'm not."

Seungwoo can't say anything. He can only look at the other feeling disgusted at himself for letting himself be manipulated like that. He doesn't know how he's going to face Hangyul. What just happened would definitely put an end to any possibility of anything developing between him and his roommate ever. It might even mean the end of their friendship.

"You know I wanted to give him another chance when I came here today," Wooseok continues. "I wanted to see if he can still meet me despite his feelings but you had to insert yourself and insult me for trying to be honest with him. Hangyul knows how I feel about drama, I won't tolerate this. I sent him a message to come to my place tonight before I decided that I should perhaps try and find him here," he inspects his nails before he moves on. "I guess, he won't see the message before the match ends but you'll have to tell him that I don't want to see him anymore and that it's all your fault. You'll tell him about us and what happened today and that I don't want him to come to my place ever again."

He turns around and walks towards the exit. He opens the door and looks at Seungwoo again. "If you don't do it, he'll appear at my doorstep tonight," Wooseok finally says. "And then I definitely will tell him myself. He can hear it from your point of view or mine, your choice."

And just like that the door behind him closes and Seungwoo finds himself alone in the gym. He knows that he has to talk to Hangyul right after the match. He can't have him hear it from Wooseok. He already feels horrible, he can't allow that bastard to make things even worse. If they can even get any worse than this.

Seungwoo can't help but bring his hands to his head. He pulls on his hair and crouches down to the floor. "_Fuck._"

* * *

When he arrives home, he finds Seungyoun walking out of the bathroom with some toiletries in his arms. "Hey," Wooseok says sounding exhausted.

"Oh hi," Seungyoun answers stopping in the middle of the room. "Are you okay?"

Wooseok wonders what he looks like because his roommate sounds almost a little worried. "Um, yeah, I'm just a little tired. Are you packing for something or...?" He asks pointing at the toiletries in Seungyoun's arms.

"Ah yeah, I'm going away with some high school friends over the weekend, they'll pick me up in a couple of hours," he explains with a smile. "So, you guys can have the weekend for yourself. Undisturbed."

Wooseok scratches the back of his head feeling a little sorry for Seungyoun because of what happened between them last night. They didn't talk about it anymore and before he left the house this morning, Seungyoun just greeted him as he always does; indicating that he either forgot about what happened - after all, he did have a lot of alcohol last night - or that he'd much rather not talk about it. So, Wooseok didn't insist on talking about it either. He's not good at dealing with these things anyway.

"By the way, he's waiting in your room," Seungyoun adds.

It snaps Wosoeok out of his thoughts. "What?"

"I told him he could wait here but he said he'd wait in your room and I assumed that's okay with you," the taller male says matter-of-factly. "I mean he's always there anyway. Doesn't he usually come on Saturdays, though?"

"Yeah," Wooseok answers slowly. "I honestly forgot."

"That he's coming today?"

"Yeah."

Seungyoun snorts. "Lucky bastard."

Wooseok rolls his eyes at him. He doesn't need his roommate's snarky remarks about the way he treats boys right now. Not after the afternoon he just had with Seungwoo in the gym.

"Well, have fun with your friends," the smaller male says with a small smile. He takes off his shoes and walks towards his own room.

"Thanks," Seungyoun retorts. "I'll be back on Sunday."

"Okay," Wooseok throws his way before he opens the door and goes inside his room. "Hey, you," he says with a genuine smile. He's relieved to see him. The one simple thing he has in this huge mess.

"Finally," Jinhyuk answers with a big grin and it takes him only two steps to be right in front of Wooseok and take him in his long arms. "Where have you been?"


	5. Weishin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are! I have decided that this will be the last chapter after all.   
some things are left a little open but it suits the story in my opinion.
> 
> thanks to everyone who read it, left kudos and comments. I really appreciate it.  
<333

"Okay, what's up?" Jinhyuk says when he peeks up from in between Wooseok's legs. The smaller male has one leg thrown over the other's shoulder, heel poking into Jinhyuk's shoulderblade. The other is on his side. He looks down at Jinhyuk who is flashing a curious smile.

"Hm?"

Jinhyuk chuckles and props himself up on his forearms. "I'm doing some of my best work down here buy you're not even getting hard," he flicks his limp dick and Wooseok lets out a small weep. "Sorry, I'm just-- it's not like you. Usually, you'd be begging me to fuck you by now. Sometimes you'd have even already come once, so I'm wondering what I am doing wrong."

"I'm sorry, it's not you," Wooseok simply states looking up at the ceiling of his room.

Jinhyuk kisses the inside of the thigh of Wooseok's leg that is slung over his shoulder then pushes it to the side. He then places another kiss to Wooseok's knee before he pulls himself up to lie next to him slightly hovering above him, his head resting on his hand propped up on one elbow. He looks at Wooseok with a comforting smile while he brushes some hairs out of the other's face. "What is it then?"

Wooseok takes Jinhyuk's face between his own hands and brushes over his cheeks with a hopefully reassuring smile. He doesn't say anything just stares at him for a little bit weighing how much of what has happened this week he even wants to share.

Jinhyuk only ever visits on weekends. He usually comes sometime around Saturday afternoon and leaves Sunday evening to take a train back to Busan where he goes to university. That's how it's been with them for years and Wooseok thinks that the distance is probably also the reason why it's worked out with them for such a long time. He thinks he shouldn't waste the little time they have with each other on talking about other boys.

When he doesn't say anything for a while, Jinhyuk starts making faces at him. Jinhyuk's face is generally very expressive but it gets to a whole new level when he's doing it on purpose. Wooseok can't help but laugh. A hearty laugh, genuine. He likes being with Jinhyuk the most. The taller male is very simple, rarely serious. What they have is just very easy and he welcomes that.

"Come on," Jinhyuk nudges him. "At least give me a hint. Uni? Family? Financial issues?"

"Boys," Wooseok simply states.

"What?" The other male's face shows a good amount of disbelief.

"I've had a rough week with them."

"I don't come for _one_ weekend and suddenly, you have boy problems?" Jinhyuk inquires a little comically. "What did you do?"

Wooseok kicks his leg. "Why do you assume I did something?"

The taller male laughs and brings a hand to stroke Wooseok's chest. "I'm sorry. Did you?"

The other frowns at him. "It wasn't all just me," he sighs. "I don't really want to go into detail, it's just... this guy I was seeing-"

"Hangyul, was it?"

"Yeah."

"You guys are done?"

"Yes," Wooseok states with an eye roll at the tone in which Jinhyuk had asked. "Anyway, he's roommates with Seungwoo and-"

"Seungwoo?" Jinhyuk interrupts. "Your ex?" He sounds shocked, clear displeasure showing in his face.

"He was not my boyfriend," Wooseok explains. "We just had a thing."

"Yeah right," the other scoffs probably remembering his own little role he played in the dramatic ending of Seungwoo and Wooseok about two years ago. Seungwoo wanted to surprise him one Sunday morning and walked right in on him having sex with Jinhyuk. It was brutal.

"Whatever," Wooseok brushes it off. "So, Hangyul started liking me and Seungwoo inserted himself-"

"Wait, is he still into you?"

"No," the younger says immediately. "I mean, I don't know."

"Would be understandable," Jinhyuk shrugs. "You're smart and funny and," he theatrically moves his hand up and down Wooseok's body as if he was the assistant to a magician who just revealed his best trick. "Incredibly good-looking, even naked. Especially naked-"

"Ah shut up," Wooseok says exhausted. He doesn't really like it when Jinhyuk compliments him like that. It strikes the fear in him that things might get complicated between them, even though he knows they won't. He still has a hard time to brush it off when Jinhyuk gets like this. When he starts telling him how great he is and what he likes about him. "Anyway, Hangyul doesn't even know about us but he will find out today-- ugh, it would be so much easier if people were just honest with each other."

Jinhyuk pecks his lips and looks him in the eyes. "I'm honest with you."

"I know. That's what I really appreciate about you," Wooseok says while the other presses a couple more kisses to his cheeks and behind his ear.

"And you're honest with me," Jinhyuk adds and looks at him intently.

"For the most part," it escapes Wooseok before he can think.

"Kim Wooseok," the taller male says with a playfully serious voice. "Is there something you're keeping from me?"

_Just that I love you._

Of course, he doesn't say it. He can't. Not anymore. The time where that kind of confession would've been appropriate between them has long passed. Wooseok doesn't get to tell Jinhyuk how he feels about him. He doesn't get to mess this up for them. He doesn't get to mess it up for himself. There's just too much at stake.

"Just that I hate your new perfume," he says instead. "What is that?"

"Oh," Jinhyuk laughs out loud then attaches his lips to Wooseok's again before he speaks. "I'm sorry, my girlfriend got it for me. Is it that bad?"

"Girlfriend?" Wooseok tries not to sound surprised because at this point he really shouldn't be. Jinhyuk has girlfriends all the time. "Didn't you break up last month or so?"

"Oh, this is a different one."

"How long?"

"Three weeks."

"Is that why you didn't come last weekend?"

"No, I had that stupid group project to work on," Jinhyuk says eyebrows slightly furrowed. "I told you. Why would I lie about having a girlfriend, I always tell you."

"Yeah, but usually before I find out accidentally by pointing out your horrible, new perfume."

Jinhyuk laughs again then kisses him. "You're being mean, but yeah, it's too strong for me as well."

"It just doesn't suit you," Wooseok retorts.

"Well then, it's settled," Jinhyuk concludes. "I won't wear it anymore. You know what suits me best."

In the past, Wooseok would often wonder how much those girls even knew Jinhyuk. They got to go out with him and spend time with him and his friends and be called his girlfriend but they had no idea who he really was. Wooseok used to get irritated by this.

They didn't know about _him_ for starters. He wonders if they even knew what Jinhyuk likes and dislikes. Clearly, this girlfriend didn't even grasp the fact that he doesn't wear perfume at all. In fact, Jinhyuk doesn't like any strong scents, so Wooseok always makes sure he's freshly showered and not wearing any type of fragrance when Jinhyuk comes over. It's something that struck him when he came home earlier and Seungyoun told him that Jinhyuk was already there. He wondered if he'd put on any fragrance today because he didn't want to make the other uncomfortable.

Then again, Jinhyuk probably doesn't know much about those girls either. He has maybe two to three girlfriends a year, never spends more than a couple of months in a relationship and on top of that, he's cheated on every single one of them with Wooseok. No exception. He's not really sure what Jinhyuk is trying to find in his countless relationships. Wooseok has asked him a couple of times but it seems like Jinhyuk doesn't even know it himself.

("I don't really know," Jinhyuk explained one of the times. "I think I like them in the beginning - and I probably do - but after the first 3-4 weeks I lose interest," he shrugged.

"But you stay with them for months," Wooseok pointed out.

"I know," the other looked confused with himself. "I always think I have to give it time, you know, for it to make sense. But it never does-- I just get bored and realise that I'm wasting their time, so I break up.")

Wooseok has often wondered - and maybe feared - that one of these girls will last. That Jinhyuk will like her and continue to like her even months into the relationship. That he will find someone he doesn't want to cheat on. That he will find someone more important to him than what he gets to do with Wooseok on the weekends. He thinks it's inevitable that that's going to happen, yet Jinhyuk always comes back. With a few exceptions - like that last weekend - he has come to Wooseok's place every Saturday for the past five years.

"So," Jinhyuk starts as he kisses Wooseok's neck. "Is it my perfume that is bothering you or is it because you miss that Hangyul guy?"

Wooseok snorts. "I won't miss him. It's just annoying that it had to end because of Seungwoo," he explains. "Besides, Hangyul is really good in bed."

Jinhyuk looks up at him with big eyes. "Better than me?"

"Well, it's not fair to him, is it now?" The smaller male laughs. "You've had more than six years of practice, you probably know my body better than I do."

The older male smirks and starts to mouth his way down Wooseok's body. "So, why don't you just relax and let me do what I do best, then?" He says in between kisses to Wooseok's shoulders, his chest, his nipples. "And we'll make sure to find someone to take care of you in between weekends later..."

"Oh, I think I already have someone," Wooseok throws in while stroking Jinhyuk's hair. He's starting to get aroused and doesn't really want to continue talking right now. "Potentially."

Jinhyuk looks up at him again. "You do?" He frowns. "So, why are we wasting good time talking about already recycled boys?"

Wooseok laughs and pulls the other's head up to kiss him properly. He turns them around so that he's on top and deepens the kiss the way he likes it. Kissing Jinhyuk is what he misses the most when the other is away, so he always makes sure to get his dose of it while he can. He can tell that Jinhyuk gets worked up quickly like this and he doesn't want to deny him the pleasure he came here for. So, he sits up and lets himself slide down taking Jinhyuk inside of him.

When they finish, Wooseok gets up to clean himself up with some tissues that he always has beside his bed. Afterwards, he plops down next to Jinhyuk on the bed, immediately being embraced by the other. He leans on the taller males chest and just rests for a bit enjoying the ease of being with Jinhyuk. Wooseok loves the sex but he loves this more. He loves falling asleep next to the other. Even more, he loves waking up next to him.

"Ugh, I don't want to get up," Jinhyuk groans.

"You're not staying the night?" Wooseok tries not to sound disappointed.

"I can't, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow," the other male explains. "We're all going for a birthday breakfast in the morning."

"You could just take the earliest bus from here."

"Tempting," Jinhyuk says pressing his lips to Wooseok's forehead. "But my girlfriend came to Seoul with me, too, and I told her we'd meet later to go to my parent's house together."

It's very rare for Wooseok to be appalled at something Jinhyuk says but he can't help but furrow his eyebrows and look up at the other. "You brought her to meet your parents already?"

"Well, technically, I wasn't planning on doing that," Jinhyuk answers sounding a little like he's trying to justify his actions. "I just informed her that I was going to Seoul for my mother's birthday and she wanted to visit some friends here as well, so she thought it would be a great idea to take the train together and since she doesn't really have anywhere to stay, I invited her to stay with us. Would be a waste to book a hotel when my family has a whole house, no?"

"Where is she now?" Wooseok says still taken aback.

"With her friends," Jinhyuk answers nonchalantly. "I should meet her at Seoul station in about an hour."

"What does she think where you are right now?"

"With you," the older male says matter-of-factly. "I told her I'm gonna see my best friend, Wooseok."

"You've definitely _seen_ me," Wooseok retorts with a scoff.

"Not enough," Jinhyuk pouts and attempts to snuggle into him again.

Wooseok thinks he can't take this right now. He gets up and puts on his boxers. "Well, I guess you should start getting ready if you want to make it in time."

"Are you angry?" The other looks up at him from the bed. "You seem angry."

"I'm not angry," Wooseok lies. "I just wish you would've told me... I could've made plans for the weekend or something."

"Do you want to come, too?" It's almost ridiculous how innocent Jinhyuk can look saying something like that. "My mom would be happy to see you. She asks me about you all the time."

"Are you serious?"

"Why?"

"You want me to come and sit through your mother's birthday breakfast with your girlfriend at the table?" He points at himself. "_Me?_"

"You're my best friend."

"With whom you cheat on her."

"But she doesn't know about it."

"It's still happening," Wooseok can't believe he has to be the one to point out why this is wrong. It's bad enough that his own heart is breaking but he can't imagine sitting at a table with a person he has to feel sorry for because of that.

"You're right," Jinhyuk says with a sigh as he gets up and starts to put on his clothes as well. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't," Wooseok throws at him now that they are standing face to face. Jinhyuk almost fully clothed, Wooseok still in his boxers.

"Can I come back on Sunday before I leave for Busan again?" The taller male asks taking Wooseok's face in his hands. He kisses him again. It's soft and light as if nothing just happened between them.

"Of course," the other answers. "Tell your mom happy birthday from me. I'll visit them when I go to see my parents next time."

"She'll be happy to hear that."

Wooseok kisses him one more time then pushes him away a bit. "I'll bring you to the door."

"But I don't want to leave."

"I'm not the one who has other plans," the smaller male opens the door and walks out.

"Hey," Jinhyuk says as he walks behind him. "If we're still single at like 35, can we just get married and have sex all the time?"

Wooseok hates him for that. He hates when Jinhyuk jokes like this because he knows damn well that it doesn't mean anything. They could date now. But Jinhyuk never asks that. Of course, he doesn't. It still leaves Wooseok to wonder if the other ever wants more from him. Clearly, he can't let him go. He can't end things with Wooseok even when he has a girlfriend. He knows well that he's important to Jinhyuk and not just for the sex. He just doesn't know if they are on the same page. If they have ever been on the same page. Did he ever have a shot at something real with Jinhyuk and he just missed his opportunity?

"Shut up," Wooseok says a little annoyed, yet composed enough for it to be brushed off as a joke. "Same-sex marriage is illegal here and you're not even single right now. Get out of my apartment," they have reached the front door which he opens for Jinhyuk.

"Okay, if it's legal in 10 years and we're both single then," Jinhyuk insists.

"You think we'll still be doing this in 10 years?"

"Well, I hope so," the taller male says with a wide grin. "You're the best fuck I've ever had."

"Bye," Wooseok says as he pushes him backwards out of the door and slams it in his face. His heart drops.

There's a knock on the door and Wooseok sighs loudly as he opens it again.

"You forgot something?"

"Yes," Jinhyuk says as he grabs his face and kisses him a little roughly, a little too much desire thrown in there. "See you Sunday."

He walks away and Wooseok closes the door again. He sits down on the small chair they put next to the door so that they can sit down to take their shoes off when necessary. Wooseok leans against the wall and closes his eyes. It's not the first time he wishes to be able to let out a sigh of relief when he opens them again. It's not the first time he hopes that he'll just go to sleep, wake up again and it would all have been a dream. This entire thing with him and Jinhyuk.

He often wonders if he could go back in time, knowing what he knows today. Would he have confessed to him when they slept with each other for the first time? When Jinhyuk came to his house the day after and asked him if it meant anything, would he have said 'yes' being who he is now? Would they have had a different kind of future together?

Wooseok was just as scared to lose him back then as he is now. Maybe even more. Jinhyuk was his whole world when they were 17. He was his best friend, his neighbour, his oldest confidant. They knew everything about each other. Always. But Wooseok had to fall in love with him as they became teenagers and it made everything so disgustingly complicated.

He can feel the tears slowly leaving the corners of his eyes. Usually, he cries himself to sleep on Sundays after Jinhyuk leaves. But then again, this whole week has just been off so he welcomes the tears earlier. He cries because he hates what Jinhyuk has become even though he's still the nicest person he knows otherwise. He hates what Wooseok himself has become. He cries because of the way Jinhyuk hints at more between them but then goes on to find a new girlfriend every time. He hates him but misses him as soon as he leaves. He cries because he doesn't even understand himself.

There are times when he thinks that he doesn't want to see him anymore and even then he misses him. He gave himself freely to Jinhyuk for more than six years pretending there's nothing more between them, he doesn't have the right to confess to him and ruin things now. If he had done it when they were 17, would they have tried? Or would he have had a warmer way to say goodbye?

He knows that as it is today, it's just a matter of time when Jinhyuk will roughly pull him out of what they have right now. He will find someone and they will grow apart and maybe it's not the worst thing that could happen but Wooseok knows he could never do it himself. He could never end things with Jinhyuk on his own willpower because it's not something he wants. He will never be ready to let him go, so he waits for the day where he won't have a choice. Until then he makes sure to be available for Jinhyuk whenever he wants to be with him.

Wooseok is shocked when he opens his eyes to wipe his tears with the back of his hand. Seungyoun is standing in the living room, a packed bag on the sofa. His roommate is looking at him in shock and Wooseok's heartbeat speeds up at the realisation of what it all looks like.

"How long have you been there?" He asks clearing his throat and standing up trying to look as unbothered as possible.

"A minute or two," Seungyoun states in a low tone.

"I thought you went out with your friends," Wooseok tries to direct the conversation anywhere but at the current situation they are in.

"They are picking me up in about 10 minutes."

"Ah okay."

"Is he not sleeping here tonight?" Seungyoun inquires finger pointing at the door quickly before he puts his arm down again.

"Not today," the smaller male says with a shrug. "He has other plans tomorrow."

"Is that why you cried?"

Wooseok freezes. He didn't expect Seungyoun to ask him straight out. His roommate is usually great at telling when he wants to talk about something and when he doesn't but Wooseok feels there's something more in the way he asked. There's definitely something different in the way Seungyoun has his eyes fixed on him with intent.

"No," Wooseok tries to shake it off as nonchalantly as possible. "He can do whatever he wants."

"You love him," Seungyoun says and Wooseok reacts too slow. Too perplexed to figure out how to make it look natural, he just stares at his roommates with widened eyes. Like a deer caught in the headlights, he doesn't say another word. "Is this why you're such an asshole?"

"What?"

"You love someone who will clearly never love you back, so you think you have to make everyone else around you miserable as well?"

Wooseok has never seen Seungyoun like that. He has never heard him talk like that, much less to him. "Don't say things you will regret later," Wooseok says barely audible.

"I can't believe I never saw this," Seungyoun continues. "What's so great about him?"

"Don't go there, Seungyoun," Wooseok says the anger in him growing by the second. "Don't try to put him down, you can't win."

"He doesn't love you, Wooseok," the taller male states. "It's clear to me now. I just thought it was the other way around but no, it's you who loves him and he doesn't love you. Do you see that or are you trying to tell yourself that it will change one day?"

"I could ask you the same," he doesn't want to go there but he can't stop himself. Seungyoun has crossed a line. "Do you see that I don't love you back or are you hoping it will change one day?"

Seungyoun's eyes widen, he takes a step back and just stares at Wooseok for a good minute.

"I can give you an answer. I've been putting up with your feelings for long enough pretending that I don't know about them as not to make you feel uncomfortable but I don't love you, Seungyoun. I never will," Wooseok doesn't want to hurt him. He has spent the entire year pretending he doesn't know that his roommate is in love with him in order not to hurt him. He cares about Seungyoun. He cared enough not to sleep with him and make him end up like Wooseok himself. He didn't want to become Seungyoun's Jinhyuk. He doesn't want this for him.

Before either of them can say anything more, Seungyoun's phone vibrates on the table in front of him. "My friends are here," he simply says before taking his bag from the sofa. "I'll see you on Sunday."

"Seungyoun," Wooseok says with a tired voice when the other opens the front door to leave.

"Have a nice weekend," his roommate says and disappears. The door closes behind him and Wooseok is once again left alone in their living room with nothing else but tears on his face.

* * *

When he wakes up on Saturday morning, he feels about as empty as the apartment. He has the urge to text Hangyul but then he remembers that he can't. Wooseok knows he could talk the younger into sleeping with him again if he wanted to but he's tired of it. He doesn't want to open that box again. He doesn't want to deal with Seungwoo again, so he finds Hangyul's number and blocks it before deleting it from his device.

He receives a message from Jinhyuk. It's a picture of him in a suit. Apparently, his mother wanted to go all out today. The caption says: _kinda wish you were taking this off of me again, should I come like this tomorrow?_

It makes Wooseok smile, despite knowing that Jinhyuk is currently with his girlfriend and that said girlfriend is meeting his parents. _Yes please,_ he answers with a cheeky emoji and just before he wants to put his phone away, he remembers one more thing.

He opens Yohan's last text again and writes:

_ hey, sorry I didn't answer sooner_

_ look, I'm not looking to date anyone right now_

_ but would you be open for something more casual?_

_ let me know ;)_

After that, he orders food and spends the whole day watching Netflix on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always welcome! I'm happy to hear what y'all think of my work :)
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/wfwonhui


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